Cosmic Chuckie Cheeze!

March 5, 2007

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Ever seen one of those gift registry things at a department store? This is where people go to make a list of all of the things that will keep your name off of the list of people who didn’t take the time to go and look at the gift registry. Seriously, where else would you get the idea to ask for a $5000 duvet cover (guys that is the bedspread equivalent of the “good towels” in your guest bathroom, no matter how great it is DON’T USE IT! I know this because my wife’s idea of relaxing is to sit on the couch and watch other people get their houses redecorated) Or a sterling silver baby rattle, (gee Doc, I don’t know where he’s getting those bruises on his forehead! But check out those biceps!) you know, really practical stuff like that!


Or how about graduation invitations? You know, some bright eyed kid walks up to you and hands you one of those ridiculously overprinted cards that announce this great event, featuring them, in which you get to crowd yourself into an auditorium without proper ventilation to squint at eight hundred kids, all dressed exactly alike, and hopefully if you track the list of names in the program closely enough you might look up in time to see them exit the stage, empty folder in hand! (that’s right they don’t even really graduate at these things they just announce that if these kids don’t really screw it up between now and then they’ll get their diploma eventually) These invitations are just gift bait! They are asking you to prove you don’t hate them by buying them stuff!


Yes, I’m probably just jealous. No one I know has ever been in a position to buy the fancy napkins, or give me a car for graduation, (I was a homeschooler anyway) so maybe that’s what it is! I sometimes find myself in line for that cosmic gift registry in the sky, you know the one, I was kind to my neighbor, I didn’t cheat on my taxes, I went back and paid for the item they missed at the checkout! Time for my prize! As if God is working the counter in the arcade in some celestial Chuckie Cheeze! Ooh, look at all the tickets that guys got, he must have had perfect attendance in Sunday School!


Much like the dump truck at my seventh Birthday, God’s gifts are rarely what we expect them to be. My Dad told me once about Solomon being asked by God to name anything  he wanted. Solomon could have had money, fame, power, or women, anything! He asked for wisdom so God gave him more money than anyone ever so he could learn who to say yes to. (I just need enough gas to get______so I can start my new job on Monday) God gave him a wife and he liked it so much he took on 700 of them, and learned about conflict resolution in the process. He got bored with the whole temple thing and started building alters to please his wives, only to discover that there really was only one God! Wisdom!


If anyone needs wisdom, let him ask God. He will give it without judging you for how you came to need it in the first place. But make sure you really want it, anybody who asks God for something like this without meaning it is like a boat on the ocean, tossed by a storm, they can’t make up their minds which way to go. If you are going to ask like that, don’t expect much from God. Make up your mind to ask and trust him for it. – James, an ancient Hebrew philosopher-


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